Half a BMW

Half a BMW, originally uploaded by Tommy.Chang.

The Real Mario

If Mario was real, he'll probably look like this...

Look at me! Fail!

Cliffnotes...

19 year old kid claims to own brand new CLS55.

Other forum members call BS.

Then, the real owner comes along.

Good stuff.

Honda is really taking this green thing seriously

I'm all for saving the Earth and protecting our environment but those puke green uniforms that the Honda Racing F1 team have to go. Looks like I'll skip buying this year's Honda Racing F1 team merchandise.

It's a kid, not a dog

It's a kid, not a dog, originally uploaded by Tommy.Chang.

Bumblebee & Me

Sent from my iPhone

Bumblebee & Me, originally uploaded by Tommy.Chang.

Ewok!

Sent from my iPhone

Ewok!, originally uploaded by Tommy.Chang.

Rag on Camry

Sent from my iPhone

Rag on Camry, originally uploaded by Tommy.Chang.

Dude stole my wife's dress - LOL!

Sent from my iPhone

Dude in Dress - LOL!, originally uploaded by Tommy.Chang.

Grammy Protesters

Religious fanatics protest against anything and everything these days, including music and the Grammy Awards.

Grammy Protesters, originally uploaded by Tommy.Chang.

Other Uses of a Spoon

Look closely at the speaker... Yes its a spoon holding it in place. :o

Other Uses of a Spoon, originally uploaded by Tommy.Chang.

Damn you're one ugly SOB

Damn you're one ugly SOB, originally uploaded by Tommy.Chang.

Oh what big eyes you have...

Oh what big eyes you have..., originally uploaded by Tommy.Chang.

Bigfoot Sighting on my350z.com

Link: my350z.com

 Technorati Tags: Bigfoot

Two Divorce Letters

Divorce Letter #1

So your man cheated on you and you're thinking divorce. How do you tell him? Well lets take out a huge ad billboard in the middle of the city!



Ouch.

Divorce Letter #2

Dear Connie,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact.

In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as ours hurt. And this is what my heart says "There's no one like you, Connie." I look for you in
the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her
home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial.

What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'm never really thought of that before.

I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'm tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling ofloss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.

Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general.

She's pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you. It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it . Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know.

Otherwise, can you let me know where the fucking remote is.

Love, Dan

This is an instant classic. Poor Connie will need professional psychological counseling for years to come.

 Technorati Tags: Divorce

Best Head Butt Ever

 Technorati Tags: World Cup, Zidane, Head Butt

Naked People at Banana Republic

How Not to Steal a Sidekick

Say you find a Sidekick in a NYC cab, what would you do? Try to return it to its rightful owners or keep it? Well according to How NOT to steal a Sidekick II, some residents of Corona Queens, NY decided to keep it. And not only did they keep it but they used it for AIM instant messaging and take photos of her skanky self and of her fat ass boyfriend. Here's an excerpt...

When my friend realized that she had left the Sidekick in the taxi she asked me to immediately send a message to the phone saying that we would give a reward for the phone. There was no response. After a day of waiting, she had to go to the store and spend over $300 on a new Sidekick. When she put her SIM card in, she saw that the person(s) that had taken the phone had not only signed on to AOL leaving their name and password in the phone, but they had taken pictures of themselves.

Lesson - Return stuff you find to its rightful owners.

Source: How NOT to steal a Sidekick II

 Technorati Tags: Sidekick

Open Season on Dick Cheney

Its comedic open season on VP Dick Cheney after he accidently shot his friend, Harry Whittington, in a hunting accident last Saturday.

Among all the jokes, my favorite comes from David Letterman...

Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney.

HAHAHAHA

By the way, I don't understand what all the fuss is about. OK he waited a day to inform the media after the accident. So what? What is more important? Attending to your friend's well being or telling the reporters?

 Technorati Tags: Cheney, Letterman

A Mini Cooper how-to

 Technorati Tags: Mini Cooper, sex

We found Nemo

 Technorati Tags: Nemo

How we do cardio in Miami

After spending four hours this afternoon putting on shutters on my home, its quite a good workout.

Owned

A New Level of Ownage

First, lets create a thread about posting photos of your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Second, some random guy named GI- posts a picture of his girlfriend's ass.

Then the truth is discovered. Ownage #1.

After denials by GI-, he is owned again through some photographic analysis. Ownage #2.

Then, the ultimate ownage by the model herself. Ownage #3.

Finally, hes being tagged as the "Forum Liar" and this story is spreading through the internet like wild fire. Ownage #4.

Sleeping with your SO?

May I present Sam, Ugliest Dog in the World

SANTA BARBARA, Calif. - The owners of the other contestants in this year's World's Ugliest Dog Contest may have thought their pooches had a chance - until they saw Sam.

The 14-year-old pedigreed Chinese crested recently won the Sonoma-Marin Fair contest for the third consecutive time, and it's no surprise.

The tiny dog has no hair, if you don't count the yellowish-white tuft erupting from his head. His wrinkled brown skin is covered with splotches, a line of warts marches down his snout, his blind eyes are an alien, milky white and a fleshy flap of skin hangs from his withered neck. And then there's the Austin Powers teeth that jut at odd angles from his mouth.

Source

To me, Sam looks more like a Grelim than a dog. I hope hes been neutered because I wouldn't want to see the Son of Sam. EEK!

Its a Jetta Cobra

Saddam in his whitie tighties

This is more reason for the Middle East to hate us. Oh well, most of them hate us a lot anyways, so who cares? It will take several decades to turn around their negative attitude towards the US. In the meantime, lets see more funny pictures of the former tyrant in his prison cell!

I found Nemo!

Flying Mattresses and Falling Boats

Friday night 10PM. Driving home on the expressway. Two identical stock Civic sedans race by me going at least 90MPH. Nearing the toll now. One Civic slows down, the other keeps going at a high rate of speed, then BOOM! All I see was wood exploding into hundreds of pieces then a flying mattress. Wait! A flying mattress, oh yes! The mattress with wings hits the Civic's windshield at a angle, bounces off and is coming straight at me. I swerve hard left, pretending that the mattress was a great big cone from autox. Two wood pieces were there to greet me, I swerve right, narrowing missing the chaos. I look back... the Civic crashed up against the side railing and theres Ford F150 with the hazards on at the emergency lane. I assume it was from where the flying mattress and exploding wood headboard originated from.

Saturday afternoon 4PM. What the hell is up with all this traffic on a Saturday afternoon? I'm stuck in traffic on the expressway for the past hour. Finally I see emergency vehicles up ahead in the horizon. I inch closer and closer. Blue VW Jetta, front end destroyed, roof damage, probably flipped. Ouch. A big wrecker lifting a smashed up boat from the ditch. Wait! A boat?!?! Yes apparently someone didn't secure their trailer correctly, ergo boat falls off trailer, hits a few random cars and ends up in the ditch. Ouch.

Theres never a dull day or night in Miami traffic...