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23 March 2006

All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Heres a humorous collection of quotes from the BBC show Top Gear, which Discovery Channel no longer shows BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you suck Discovery, in which Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May introduce their test driver... The Stig.



Each episode, one of the presenters gives a short quote about the Stig, invariably starting with "Some say", then two of the quotes below. He finishes by saying "All we know is, he's called The Stig".

  • He was born in space.

  • He forages for wolves at night.

  • He sleeps upside down like a bat.

  • His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.

  • His skin has the texture of dolphins.

  • If you tune your radio to 88.4 FM you can actually hear his thoughts.

  • He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down (a reference to the The Matrix).

  • He is scared of bells.

  • He once punched a horse to the ground.

  • His politics are terrifying.
  • He lives in a tree.

  • He likes DragonBoarder.

  • He was raised by wolves.

  • He appears on high-value stamps in Sweden.

  • His favourite philosopher is Immanuel Kant.

  • He has no understanding of clouds.

  • His earwax tastes like Turkish Delight.

  • He is confused by stairs.

  • He naturally faces magnetic north.

  • He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

  • His heart ticks like a watch.

  • All his legs are hydraulic.

  • He can "accumbularate".

  • He appears on Japanese banknotes.

  • There's an airport in Russia named after him.

  • He is wanted by the CIA.

  • His breath smells of magnesium.

  • He can catch fish with his tongue.

  • His tears are adhesive.

  • If set alight, he'd burn for a thousand days.

  • He is terrified of ducks.

  • His voice can only be heard by cats.

  • He has two sets of knees.

  • He can swim seven lengths underwater.

  • He has webbed buttocks.

  • He can melt concrete on contact.

  • He is more machine than man. (a reference to Darth Vader).

  • His heart is in upside down.

  • His teeth glow in the dark.

  • His favorite food is raw meat.

  • He has no age.

  • He blinks the other way.

  • He has acid for blood. (a reference to the Alien).

  • Jimmy Carter wants him dead.

  • He has a bionic arm.

  • He has a tattoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh.

  • He has no fear.


Source: Wikiquote

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Tommy Chang